Life is so fucking painful. The pain of loss, of seeing someone walk out your door, not knowing it will be the last time. The worry and fear when they don’t come home. The slow sharpening into focus of reality as something you relied on to be there every day now gone. The journey changes. Whatever it was you were working towards suddenly doesn’t matter at all. And then all it is, is a memory, which you try desperately to forget. The love of your life now something you never want to remember.